theastrofiend speaks 2020 pt 2: theastrofiend Origins Story Full Circle Moment: Anger, Adulthood, Racism, Police Brutality, Saturn Times
2018 was
mostly good but then I began another Plutonian (maybe Saturnian cycle). Shit
happened including being betrayed and disrespected by someone I cared for. I
yet again found myself being displaced (physically and emotionally). This time
around I recognized my own toxicity and my own set of patterns. I didn’t start
the situations but I am also not a victim. I can own up to my own mistakes. I
would say the signs were always there but internalizing a lot of shit can
having you looking like a stupid bitch in these streets
Random but
I kinda feel that in my adult life there is like a mini Plutonian cycles where
every 2 or so years (really 1.5 years) there is some shit I gotta heal through.
Honestly maybe it’s everyone. IDK but random maybe its my natal Jupiter
retrograde acting like Pluto. (Alyssa Sharpe or the Divine Venus/Embracing
Glory own words/theory not mine).
- Honestly
I didn't realize I was angry and that anger started theastrofiend until 2018.
2018 I really embraced my anger which made me realized how angry I was in
2014-2016 and now again. Anyways 2018 was another year I had to mourn and heal
but it also wasn’t bad.
The first
majority/half of 2019 was much better BUT of course another transformational
thing just had to happen. In the form of an injury that mirrors and parallels my
first injury back in 2013. This time more serious, in Saturn in Capricorn
fashion and required fucking surgery and fucking physical therapy smh. The last
half of 2019 was spent fucking literally (not just emotionally) healing. Fyi I
am still healing, that area of my body is still not 100%, but I have come a
long fucking way and I am proud.
My life
started to resume late 2019 and early 2020 I got into a routine. This year I was
planning on celebrating my birthday to celebrate my progress but Saturn
conjunct Pluto got other plans. La LaRona has entered the chat. I am not going
to bitch. Thousands of people has and will die of the Coronavirus unfortunately.
This isn’t a time to be bitching. All my trials has taught me and is still
teaching me that everything is a learning moment, to be grateful for
everything/everyone you have, and to use time
wisely. If that isn’t the most Saturn conjunct Pluto in Capricorn statement
I don’t know what it.
Honestly
this time has been very productive in terms of my YouTube channel/blog. I am on
this Gemini crackhead energy that started in March. I have been tuned into this
energy HEAVY. All this creative energy. This urge to create and to use this
energy to express myself. Random but I’m also in my Saturn return now. YAY!!
Rolls eyes and looks away. I weirdly feel freer and more open in terms of my
creativity and emotions while at the same time feeling physically trapped (like
everyone else). I am introverted so it’s not necessarily for social reasons. It
kinda the philosophy those who do, do, those who can’t, can’t. I wanna do, but I literally can’t.
That aside
another sort of energy has taken place and which brings me back to the main
reasons I am writing all this. All this shit with racism and police brutality
is bringing up the feelings/emotions that led me to start theastrofiend. The
ANGER. The powerlessness. Spurts of Rage. Intense sadness. This time I want to
speak up more about this.
This police
brutality and racism is not new at all. The only new thing is the fucking media
talking about it more and honestly instigating shit. How the fuck are we in the
middle of a fucking pandemic and black men and women are being targeted and
murdered? I am not going to lie and say I am shocked about this because I am
not. Racism is 24/7 hours, 365 days of the year, and over 400 years old. It’s
older than America and the sperm, egg, and womb of America.
It’s also global
and fucking everywhere. So all you shady as Europeans and Canadians thanking
themselves for not being in America and how enlightened you guys are can stop. On
the real real you guys started it, on the other real I lived in Europe. It was
short time living there but I see how you guys get down. Y’all shit stinks too! Britain how are y’all treating the Windrush generation? France how y’all treating
the African immigrant population? Italy what about your black football players?
There is no escape. Just ways of coping and living with it.
It’s also crazy
to see how the spiritual community is which one of my last points in this very
last section and long ass post that I decide to cut into 2 long ass posts. BTW this is also not new Black people didn’t
start racism so it can’t end with us.
The
spiritual community thinks it exists in a vacuum. The spiritual community is
very conscious and aware about a lot of things but they, WE honestly can’t
escape our social conditioning. I just got back onto Twitter, literally around
May 20th. Today I was just reading Twitter threads and the amount of
ignorance and racism in the spiritual Twitter community is crazy and sadly real.
Being
spiritual gives us insights but it doesn’t make us special. You can be
spiritual, be of light and love and be RACIST as hell. FYI I don’t go by the
too simplistic definition of racism Google provides. It’s more than prejudice
or superiority. Racism is a SYSTEM. An organized, well oil, ever evolving
system meant to keep down my people, Black people. Maybe until the end of time
or maybe until the aliens make their presence known and turn us into space dust.
Who the fuck knows honestly?
The world
is the way it is by DESIGN. It’s not an accident. FYI to the Truth
Community/Conspiracy weirdos just because y’all think this is all orchestrated don’t
mean this isn’t real. It can very well be both orchestrated/set up and at the
same time very real. The media perpetrating shit maybe new to you, but it ain’t
new. Police brutality existed way before YouTube, twitter, hell even the
fucking television. Don’t let the “truth” keep you from doing shit.
Saging away
racism, sending light and love, lighting candles and pulling cards is not going
to change the system. I am not saying that it isn’t helpful, I believe it can
help but there needs to be honesty.
It’s no
fucking coincidence not too long ago that the USA is going through it’s Pluto
Return now. USA has Pluto in Capricorn (27 degrees I think?). It started in February
2019 until January 2025. Random but I really need to do a post on the USA’s
natal chart (s). The chickens are coming to roost.
The world
is both economic resource driven system of Capitalist with my people being the
resource and fall guy via the system of Racism. America started as a colony
based off of slave labor by the European nations. This is an important factor
especially in todays’ times because the same themes are coming up (economics/resources,
and race). It is always this same fucking thing for 400 years. Economics, Resources
and Race. Economics, Resources and Race. I am writing now, in this time because
I am part of the collective unconscious, we all are.
Me, even as
a first generation black American I am finally and for the past couple of years
see what is going on. The same group of systems (racism + capitalism) that
drove my parents to USA. A system that wants to continue to use my people for
resources while at the same having the gall to tell us we are worthless and our
lives mean nothing. These people are not rioting or destroying “their
communities.” It’s not theirs. Nothing is ours. We don’t exist. If we do exist,
then we’re every other race including the mythical POC’s punching bag and their
renewable/reusable source of strength, confidence and power. It hurts.
The more we
run from talking about, holding others accountable, and doing something about racism,
the more America, the world, and humanity suffers. FYI telling us not to talk
about, react, cope with this doesn’t make it go away, at least not for us. It’s
like spiritual gas-lighting and a spiritual reckoning all in one. I promise
there will be a time where you won’t be able to run and hide and you’ve wish
you would’ve done the work. This is not only a warning but a promise. It can or possibly will happen to you. You are not above this. This isn't fear mongering, this is a reality. Remember
history doesn’t just repeat itself. It rhymes.
We are in Saturn
Times with Capricorn and the Saturn side of Aquarius leading the way. Neptune
in Pisces being a messy important little hoe and Uranus is stirring the pot.
Remember
Saturn can use it’s scythe (sickle) to steady itself, control the growth of
crops, or to chop ya head off. You choose.
This is
honestly hella long and I’m getting tired. Now it’s 9:41 pm and I have been
writing this post (s) for hours.
