the astrofiend speaks project 2. Plutonian with Leo Rising: Performance

Disclaimer: This is an old ass blog post that I originally written around February/March 2017. It took me until now to finally put it out. Though some things have changed, still very relevant to me.

I went out tonight and it was amazing. After a night out I am EXCITED BUT DRAINED. For the past 8 months I avoided going out for a specific occasion. Anxiety and fear kept me indoors; even though I knew going out would possibly help. 2016 took a piece of me that I will be processing for a while (maybe forever?). The space of this lost piece is temporarily occupied by this intense anxiety and fear.

Regardless I went out tonight and I couldn’t help but notice that it kinda felt like a performance. I went to a museum an artsy, non-formal, uber casual setting where polite conversation, table manners, and attention to detail weren’t needed.

It felt like a performance because the juxtaposition is I am depressed. Not only that but I am a depressed self-aware Plutonian. FYI for those who don’t understand this terminology Plutonian is those with high amounts of Scorpio or Pluto placements. To give you a run-down of my Plutonian-ness

Sun conjunct Mercury in Aries in the 8^th House

Scorpio Moon in the 3^rd House

Mars Square Pluto

Pluto in Scorpio

Scorpio IC with Pluto (in Scorpio) in the 4^th House

Pluto Square Ascendant

Mercury semisquare Pluto

Plutonian energy means something different to different people. Some people think the standard for Plutonian energy is angry manic depressive, violent, sex crazed, suicidal drug addicts with a dash of OCD and borderline personality disorder. This is SO NOT ME. For me I express my Plutonian energy in more subdued, introverted, and introspective ways.

I am also Saturnian but I am more Plutonian than Saturnian. Do a Pullen chart from Astro.com to find your chart dominants btw. Me being Saturnian plays a role and modifies my Plutonian-ness. I also got Venus in Pisces and Mars & Venus in the 7^th House which I feel softens my Plutonian-ness.

Anyway I am deeply Plutonian and I move that way. I am an INFJ (INFP on an off day). My Plutonian characteristics: Introverted, Difficulty Letting Go of Pain and Past Hurts, Grudge holding, need HELLA SPACE TO Reflect & Regenerate. Love of psychology, supernatural/other-worldly topics and subjects. Etc.

Even so, I have a Leo Rising with Jupiter on my Ascendant. My Jupiter is retrograde in Virgo, so I am not swinging from the chandeliers but I’m also not a wallflower either. I like presenting a happy, optimistic face. Btw this isn’t me faking emotions or not being true to myself. When I am out, I am out and I leave the misery home. I am engaged, making jokes, and being fully in the moment. My Sun is conjunct Mercury in Aries; so like duh.

I turn on the charm, hence the performance aspect of it. What’s the point of going out and being with others if you’re going to be a miserable asshole? Stay home and sulk. There’s this weird confidence and energy attached to going out. I feel less self-aware, and self-conscious. I am open and free.

The discord can come when I come home and settle in. I turn it off and delve into my Plutonian-ness. The anxiety, fear, and need to be alone creeps in. FYI too many nights out, too many spaces where I feel like I HAVE to play a role (aka hanging with extended family, dinners, formal occasions) FREAKS ME OUT. As I get older I need more freedom and I thrive in non-formal settings that allow me to be myself. My best settings are art, music, nature, traveling, and academic settings. Places that are experimental and non-judgmental in nature.

Like does this make me less Plutonian? Is there a standard Plutonian behavior that all Plutonians must abide by? That’s not really a question btw. Fuck no, you can like Keeping up with the Kardashians, Hot Pink, and Hallmark Channel and still be an intense Plutonian. Fuck da rules!!!

Random but I feel certain members of my generation (Pluto in Scorpio) are subconsciously trying to out Pluto intensity each other. Like the more depressed and fucked up you are the better and more generationally accepted it is. Some people enjoy being victimize and playing victim. I know that’s a bit weird to say but just pay attention to the 21-33 age group and see what I am saying.

Transpersonal Lesson

Anyway my whole point in all of this is I am understanding my Leo Ascendant more. The ascendant is all about our life outlook and the face we show to the world. I used to think it’s just a mask; but it isn’t. Mask makes it seems like we are wearing our ascendants JUST for show, just for a performance and are faking it. The ascendant is a part of who we are, it isn’t a prop, even those sometimes it feels like a performance. It’s a part of me, an appendage that I can adjust accordingly.

I view the ascendant as a game show host with life being the game. Bright sparkly (or not lolz) game show host personality that steps out onto the world with a unique set of goals and experiences. 

The ascendant as a game show host uses it's personality to make connections/socialize, ask guests questions, get information and knowledge, and  complete game's (aka life) goal.

The ascendant sign perhaps is the type of game, a particular person is interested in or wants to play in. Planets on the ascendant modifies the game (life).

The ascendant as a game show host can also be seen as a tour guide. A spiritual tour guide, your soul/spirit road map, etc. Yes the ascendant plays a role and sometimes wears a "mask." But the ascendant game show host is there to guide you, keep you on track, and make sure you complete your purpose.

A perfect example is what happens when the ascendant game show host gets home after a long day's work. They settle in, remove their uniform, but they go to bed knowing that they learned something new that day, experienced something different, and that tomorrow they can do it again.

The ascendant game show host is like a job too. Some of us have to wear uniforms to work, some of us don't. Regardless of our uniforms (aka masks), we are not hiding (most of the time anyway). I would say that yes sometimes ascendant may appear and feel like a mask. But it depends on the juxtaposition and different nuances in your natal chart. My chart is nuanced to me for a lot of reasons, but the most basic and nuanced reason is I'm a Plutonian/Saturnian mix with Leo Rising and Jupiter on this rising. Leo is bright, fun, and optimistic, my Plutonian/Saturnian mix is dark, serious, and semi-realistic, so at times I feel like I am not being true to myself, and performing.

Regardless our ascendant is our responsibility to our natal charts and to our soul's purpose. My ascendant is like my spirit guide aka game show host. It moves me and allows me to experience the world, my world with lenses/shades that I don’t get to wear every day or all the time. It another way that makes me not only feel unique but also connected. Connected to myself, the world around me, and my chart.

Like what is your rising sign? How do you present yourself to your world? How does you rising sign relate to the rest of you chart.

Scorpio and Plutonian Placements: Hold Back or Hold On

Hold Back or Hold On, That is the question

I don't like to wear my Plutonian energy. Rejected it a long time ago. I have a couple of Saturn placements so I HAVE to create boundaries. I also have Venus in Pisces, opposite Jupiter (haha no boundaries). Plutonian energy is STRONG. If you start abusing it, you may not be able to go back. It is very easy to abuse it. Very easy not to take the high road, to remain petty and unevolved.

Early in my short life, I abused my Plutonian energy and an unsettling experience, made me stop before it got too far. This epiphany is rare, because we Plutonians don't know how to stop. Often its too late. Plus it's very hard to unlearn bad habits.

Even so, rejecting it is also not the answer. I am learning this the hard way. You cannot reject or control who you ARE. Rejecting doesn't work, it is who you are, so it is going to come out, now or LATER. And you do not want it to come out later. Holding back or holding on. Which do you choose?

Sagittarius Celebrity Archetype That Ain't Shit: Miley Cyrus

As I mentioned in my previous post, Miley Cyrus is my Sagittarius Celebrity Archetype That Ain't Shit. Even so I just wanted to mention my honorable mentions.

Nicki Minaj.

My first was Nicki Minaj- because she is “extra”.

Urban Dictionary Definition

Nicki Minaj is the perfect fit for this. Her extraness. YASS!! Her ever-changing wigs and fashion. YASS!!  Her facial expressions. YASS!! Soo Sagtaruissdas. I ultimately didn’t choose Nicki because she doesn’t seem as desperate (and as sad L ) as Miley. 


Plus she is just too cute. (I’m serious too!!!) Even so I am putting some Nicki memes in here.

Taylor Swift

Second was Taylor Swift because she is everywhere, but then I realize everyone likes her. This equals BORING!!!.

Britney Spears

Lastly was Britney Spears. She has a special place in my heart; but she is not relevant now. #NOSHADETHO.

Even so, I picked Miley Cyrus because she is EXTRA, trashy, random, vulgar, and desperately attention-seeking. This just means she is a perfectly normal SAG though. #NOSHADETHO.

Oh Miley!! Remember Hannah Montana. Those were the days. She pretty much did a 180. 

Which is pretty much is what Sagtaruissdas do best. You think they are driving straight but then they make a U turn, crash and kill muthafuckas.

You think where did it go all wrong? When you realize they are desperate, attention-seeking trash-bags. Trash-bags left out in the dessert heat ready to explode.

Miley Cyrus is pretty much doing the same thing that Lady Gaga does, except it's the knock off version. Even so, a knock off being cheap, the novelty ran out quickly and expired (like milk). That is why people were like Dafaq??

The randomness of the shit she did at the VMAS, threw people way fucking off. So off that's people never actually been on. They’ve just being standing there deciding whether to get on.

VMAS.

TWERKING.

Miley Cyrus.

WRECKING BALL

Now watch her cover of Khia's My Neck, My Back, then you will understand something. First she is trying too hard. Second she is desperate (and it shows).

Desperation isn’t always bad. You get what you want. You just lose your dignity in the process.

Lady Gaga is desperate, but she has more heart. She goes all the way. Miley may have did it all the way but no one took even a little bit seriously. Miley gave us her ratchet, we looked at it, laughed, and gave it back to her. Aries vs. Sagittarius analogy haha.

To get into Miley’s astrology. She is a Sag (just into Sag btw) with a Scorpio moon. She is an emotional private person but she prefers to be goofy and happy (aka her Sag Sun). Maybe that is why I see her as being disingenuous. Sag and Scorpio don’t go together AT ALL!!. It’s like mixing kool aid with cyanide. #NotCool.

Miley’s Sun is conjunct mercury, Pluto, and moon. This means she is INTENSE. Do you see Miley’s eyes? Yikes!!!! Multi-conjunct with all three of those planets in Scorpio she is constantly going through a self-destructive–trans-formative cycle. She is effected by Scorpio mentally, emotionally, and generationally. This is probably why a lot of people either love or hate Miley.

Scorpio Moon

Her moon in Scorpio conjunct mercury and Pluto all in Scorpio. She is seriously Plutonian, and conjunctions is one of the most powerful aspects in astrology. Miley’s Moon is conjunct mercury, which means her feelings (moon) are tied to her intellect and communication (mercury). She is intense but again SAG and SCORP don’t go together. She hides it but SHE FEELS IT.

Mercury in Scorpio

Reading the quote in the picture above, Miley is smart and she is mocking American culture a bit. Which she tells us AFTER the fact that she has been/is being mocked, body-shamed (boo L, and pretty much MEMED DA FAQ OUT). At least she is trying to get her life. Perhaps this is because of her Scorpio mercury. Mercury in Scorpio is known for their sarcasm and biting wit that often masks hurt. Scorpio is after all a smart sign (after being bat shite crazy). 


She does and says crazy things which can get her in trouble. Especially true with her mercury. An example that thing at the VMAS with Nicki Minaj? 


Haha, Miley would've got her ass beat if it was real. 

Venus Capricorn

People accuse her of being a thot (very sexist btw). But she’s only been linked with 3 dudes/1 chick. Nick Jonas, Liam Hemsworth, that Kennedy guy, and that model chick she was fingering behind a trailer. Three of whom she has dated seriously. Leonardo DiCaprio is the real THOT BTW.

Her Venus is in Capricorn meaning she means business in love. She is not a dater but instead commitment junkie. Venus in Capricorns are grounded, serious, and loyal. There is a sexually shameless aspect to Venus in Capricorn. Venus in Capricorn is perfectly ok with objectifying themselves for $$$. They definitely know the value of sex.

Her and Brooke Candy trading herpes.

Venus conjunct Uranus and Neptune. Slightly rebellious and idealistic (read: delusional). Miley though relationship oriented will like her freedom and romance. This softens and livens up Capricorn/Saturn a bit.

Taurus Rising?

Supposedly her rising is Taurus. But we don’t care about all that. This will make her MC Aquarius= which means her career and public persona is rebellious slightly political.

Mars in Cancer

She has Mars in Cancer- which can get her in trouble. It is in detriment here. Though there are pleasurable aspects (trine Sun, Mercury, Moon, and Pluto). This roughly means Sun (ego), Mercury (mind), Moon (emotions), and Pluto (destruction/transformation) all like Mars in Cancer. They get along, they are besties. 


But she is Plutonian in nature and Cancer is in the Fall in Cancer. Fall in astrology is a sign that is opposite a planet's exaltation sign. Mars is exalted (in the best position) in Capricorn. The opposite of Capricorn is Cancer. Cancer isn't the worst position for Mars to be in (Mars is in detriment aka the worst position in Libra and Taurus). The Fall is uncomfortable and adjustments have to be made.

Anyway Pluto is not easy energy to carry and integrate. Mars in Cancer can make someone very family oriented, and needs to feel protected and loved (to function).  On the negative Mars in Cancer it can make someone passive-aggressive, overtly sentimental and butt-hurt-shit crazy!!!


If they are not feeling like shit, they act out emotionally and do reckless things. (Chris Brown, Robin Williams anyone?). Cancers can be extremists, and go cray cray on occasion.


IF Miley can keep her mouth shut, don't OD, be positive, and keep her circle of friends small; she should be able to control her strong Plutonian energies. 


Anyway this is your Sagittarius Celebrity Archetype That Ain't Shit. *Kisses*