Why Your Sign Ain't Shit: Aries Edition

Aww Aries, you motherfuckers you, it's about that time. Aries are the first and youngest sign of the zodiac and they will not let you forget. They don't walk around, puffing their chests and claiming to be number 1, leave the theatrics to Leo. Aries instead know they are number 1 (they don't have to say it). Therefore Aries will act super douchey, immature and competitive. 

Everything is a competition for them, even when it isn't. Aries got something to prove. Not to others, but more to themselves. They need to be at the top of their game.

Aries astrology phrase is "I am". For Aries it's about ME, ME, ME!!!. This is what they are criticize for, selfishness and self-centeredness. These criticism are valid but unfair. All the zodiac signs are selfish and self-centered. It's just that Aries does all this in an annoying, shameless, and reckless matter.

Aries rule the head (that's why their symbol is a ram). There is childish stubbornness to them. I want what I want, NOW, is their mantra. So they walk around like whiny bitchbabies that are ready to throw down.

French Monster Eats Babies

Aries are a combination of cavemen and babies. Savage and a bit simple-minded (cavemen). Childlike curiosity, impatient, and energetic (babies). Aries has 4 basic functions fun, sex, food, and sleep. Aries are simple. 

Random but all Aries were have penises including the women. Take Lady Gaga, before she was super famous people were claiming she was a hermaphrodite. They also said that about Scorpio Ciara. For both situations its that Mars energy (Mars rules Scorpio and Aries). It makes Aries super masculine and aggressive. BTW Aries is the definition of pure Masculinity. 

Hypermasculine one of the side-effects is quick-temperness and no filter. Quick-tempered, Aries goes on FULL beastmode at the drop of a dime. If you threaten their individuality or their ego, they will go off on you and not hold back. At the end of their quick rampage, they will skip along like nothing ever happened. If you are sensitive get the fuck out their way.

Aries is the ego in it's pure, unevolved form (like a ball of energy flowing around in outer-space). Aries is like Leo without the charm or need for a cheering crowd of followers. Aries doesn't need a fan club. This is a point that becomes evident when an Aries opens their mouth. Aries don't have a filter and can say things in a harsh/blunt way. This is how they unintentionally (or intentionally) lose friends and make enemies. #Oops!! #MyBad!!

IF you are the sensitive, butthurt, and woe is me types (aka water signs); don't even bother with Aries. IF you are the detached, intellectual, and sociopathic types (aka air signs); don't even bother with Aries. IF you are the grounded, materialistic, and elitist types (aka Earth signs); don't even bother with Aries. IF you are the energetic, egocentric, and competitive types (aka the other two fire signs); don't even bother with Aries. IF you are an Aries; don't even bother with Aries.

This your Ain't Shit post for Aries. This is also the last of the Why Your Sign Ain't Shit series. Welp, breaks out in tears!!!. I started with Taurus (click here).  Personally I enjoyed writing, throwing shade, and talking shit about all the zodiac signs. I hope I got you in your feelings and fucked up your shit :)