Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Why your Sign Ain't Shit: Cancer Edition



Cancer is the epitome of butthurtness. So much so, that it puts Scorpio to shame. Here is the definition of butt-hurt in the dictionary:

 
Butt-hurt: noun:  An archetype of the zodiac sign, Cancer and all water signs
Synomns: Scorpio, Pisces, water signs, moon, Drake

Look, Mom, I am stuntin' with my boys!

Not only that, but there is a picture of Drake next to this definition. Side note: Though he is a Super Scorpio (with sun, mercury, venus, and pluto in Scorpio) he has moon in Cancer, which pretty much means he’s inherit the Butt-hurt gene (to the maximum degree). Generally water signs all possess the butt-hurt gene.

Anyway aside from the butt-hurtness, Cancers are moody forever pms-ing (men included) needy sissy-pants. Cancers are always crying, always moody, always venting, like shut the fuck up.

There are only two things a Cancer is good for. One is body warmth (generally this is because they are lazy home-bodied fat fucks, plus Cancer women have big titties).


The second thing is food (they are bomb ass cookers). Cancers are good cooks because they have unhealthy obsession with their family, particularly their mother, to the point where it borders incest

I bet if a Cancer’s mom was cremated, 
that Cancer will have sex with her ashes.










The Irony of this photo is that rapper 50 cent is a Cancer.

Cancer will do anything for their family and close ones, including killing for them (or killing them). Though Cancers are sissies, the oxymoron is they are also secretly violent and thuggish. I read somewhere that Cancer makes up the most arrests for violent crimes (crime of passion).

The moon (aka luna) rules over the sign Cancer. Luna aka Lunatic, these people are the real nuts of the zodiac and are bat-shit crazy. Don’t mess with them because as a cardinal water sign they are liable to do something.



 If you haven’t yet realized this Cancers, these are the reasons why your sign ain’t shit.

10 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you friend! I consider anyone who has taken the time to comment a friend. :)

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    2. Then why are you wasting time on it?

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  2. calling me out for being a fat fuck lmaooo. I also hate being so emotional like you’re right no one gives a fuck �� I hate being other people’s burden lmao. wish I was a libra or a pisces, still emotional by nature but not a fucking pussy ����

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  3. All cancers have mommy issues and should never get married

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  4. Cancer men suck and should stay alone forever instead of playing emotional mind games.

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    Replies
    1. as a cancer man i agree wholeheartedly

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    2. upon second thought, it is actually you who needs to stop playing emotional mind games with us, and then we will stop. we are better at it than you.

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  5. cancerian with the aqua mom from the aqua’s ain’t shit post. listen i stopped venting when i learned from the start not even my parents cared. some of us are born with their karmic debt and it forces us to keep all of those emotions inside. i think with cancers and pisces suns (scorpio is always gonna be scorpio honestly..) it depends on the decan (i’m in the 1st) and our other two in the big three, because i know my cap asc taurus moon has really held me down externally with keeping it together—but this is generally perfect LMFAO

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