Why your Sign Ain't Shit: Capricorn Edition

Capricorn is very similar to Scorpio, but they are like the Earth sign equivalent to Scorpio. The difference is Capricorn is more practical in their fucked up-ness. If they don't like something, they change it or they kill themselves. Very self-sufficient (take note Scorpio). 

As one of the cardinal signs, Capricorns have the pleasure of being self-starters. But they are also an Earth sign, so they are pretty responsible, grounded, rational, and boring. They are not all over your face like the other cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer or Libra). They are in the background working 200 hours a week, doing something that they hate, just because, you know, security and shit.

This makes them wound up (read: uptight) and oftentimes negative. Capricorns can literally suck the soul out of the devil (if you had one). Not even oxygen wants to be around them. Since Capricorns are negative this often means they are by default, haters. It is mentally draining just breathing in the same air as them. 

Capricorn nitpick and are critical (not the way Virgo does), it is not productive at all. They are mean and can be bullies. They bring everyone down that is around them. They are like the dementors in Harry Potter.

Capricorn Excluding indecisive and agreeable

Capricorns are also difficult. They have difficult personalities and are difficult to be around. They have particular tastes, are inflexible, and know what they want. It is strange but Capricorns know their value but they also have an inferiority complex. Value equals suffering to them.

SMILE: We hate our lives!!!!

Capricorns stay in fucked up situations for lofty bourgeois ideals like tradition, appearances, and reputation. But these are just excuses because Capricorns are insecure. You can never tell unless you actually talk to them. These are the people who after a hard's day work on the way home, pull over from the highway, take off their expensive shoes and jump off a bridge. No warning whatsoever.

That Capricorn Pragmatic Vampire is making a power play

Capricorns are self-sufficient users. They don't need people the way Libra, Leo, or Scorpio does. Capricorns have the ability to get things on their own. It is strange but Capricorn mostly uses people after they get what they want. Whether it's social status, money, or influence. Capricorns need other equally or more successful people around them to give the appearance that they are not fucked up. By the way this is my BEST, MOST runniest run-on sentence yet. Capricorn's fear and insecurity that causes them to use people. 

Capricorns is ruled by Saturn. Saturn is one of the big bad planets. Saturn represents time, death, boundaries. Saturn can make people pragmatic and fearful. By the way Saturn is the mythological figure that ate his babies for fear they will someday overthrow them. Spoiler Alert: Eventually one of his kids did overthrow Saturn. Capricorns are scared of everything. What they fear the most is the lost of material Earthly things. Job, money, possessions, or status can have them suicidal. This is like Taurus but Capricorns are more anal about it. Their fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So what comes out of this fear. Selfishness, greed, emotionally stunted, negativity, mental illnesses, and the tendencies for self-abusive behaviors. Suffering is their therapy. Capricorns think suffering means they are close to reaching their goals. But it just means they are doing something wrong. 

Two Capricorns passed out from sex, drugs, and working.

Capricorns are self-aware of their problems but they self-medicate instead of asking for help. So they work harder, develop a sleeping pill addiction, suffer in silence, mental breakdown, burnout and crash. Two weeks after a leave of absence they return to work hard, develop a sex addiction, suffer in silence, mental breakdown, burnout and crash. The cycle goes on and on.

The only way out of this cycle is to slow down, ask for help, not be to hard on themselves, and learn to love themselves. But Capricorns don't do that. They either achieve their goals or die.

To sum up everything. Here is a long ass equation that defines Capricorn:

FEAR + Negativity + Difficult + Insecure+ Hardworking+ Sadomasochist  -No emotions+Materialistic= Capricorn.

Anyway this is Capricorn ain't shit post. P.S. Capricorn smile, even though I know you can't.