Why your Sign Ain't Shit: Scorpio Edition

Be Strong, Don't show them your real self. Scorpio Season!

Scorpios are the weakest sign of the zodiac. Don't believe that bull-crap about them being the strong silent types. They are butt-hurt weaklings who live in their own fortresses of doom known as their minds.

I'm such a Bitch Baby. :(

Scorpios don't do shit, except mope around with the "Woe Is Me" attitude and secretly plot revenge, which never actually happens. That takes guts and action which always seem to evade them. Scorpios are lazy losers. 

Creeper in the club alert

Scorpios are not smart and sexy but are dumb and creepy. They are the creepers at the club. They are the online trolls waiting behind their little keyboards. Waiting for others to make posts and videos about their happy lives so they can hate on them. Waiting for others to make mistakes so they can HATE with a capital H. Scorpios are haters. All they can do is hate. And hate some more.   


Scorpios are selfish with a warped sense of self.  They create myths that they are the strong sexy silent types. They create myths that they are loyal, honorable, and independent. They are the Eeyores', the Patrick Batemans', the Hank Hills, and the Michael Scotts of the world. Scorpio=Melancholic, Delusional, Obsessive, Paranoid, and the Ultimate Bitch Baby. They are bitch ass haters. 

If we were to measure strength in terms of mind and brainpower they will lose. Cuss of their stubbornness and emotionalism they are 360 degrees of retarded. Scorpios process and hold onto things internally and forever. They hold onto that thinking that doing this is smart and strong but its like really dumb and it weakens them (and they are already weak to begin with). 

Scorpios hold onto past experiences which then after a million years they miraculously "overcome". This is considered a strength. But its not. It is a character flaw. Strength is judged by your actions not by your reactions (that we never even get to see because they have that whole poker face thing going on for them.). Holding in their hurts and wounds doesn't allow them to see clearly or take any sort of action to remedy the situation. Scorpios are simply not strong (physically, emotionally, and mentally).

I like struggle that is why I can't quit.

I would say the only real "strength" (more like a character flaw) Scorpios do have is the fact that they don't give up on life. They may take all the drugs they want, self destruct in a million ways, and fuck up on very extreme levels. But they live with and seem to marry their pain. They enjoy it. Emotionally Scorpios are emotional masochist sadists with Darwin Award fantasies (Aries always beat them on that though). 

Scorpio in their best position. Face down Ass Up. Fucked by Life

Scorpios are submissive beta types with an inferiority complex (that rivals Capricorn). They are the weakest sun sign. Yes they are weaker than their butt-hurt addict Pisces cousins are. They are the worst kind of people in the world. Overtly emotional, manipulative they are people users. People willingly allow themselves to be used by Scorpio, because unlike Scorpios, they have hearts. People pity them, they want to understand them, and help them. When all Scorpios want to do is feed them lies and hate. When people understand Scorpios are fucked up whiners they leave and this creates "trust issues". But in reality its just an excuse, who wants to admit no one wants them.

Scorpios only know how to hurt, hate, and drag you into their emo bullshit. Most sane people stay away from Scorpios, not because they are afraid of them. But because they are depressing. They are insufferable to be around. Constantly walking around playing their sad little song with the world's tiniest violin. Scorpios don't realize that the world is turning and that no one actually gives a shit.

And this is why you, Scorpio your sign ain't shit.