Why your Sign Ain't Shit: Sagittarius Edition

Before we begin, I am going to be straight- up. I can't even spell "Sagittarius." I didn't even bother learn to spell it. So I am only going to put the correct spelling for Sagittarius for the title, this paragraph and the last sentence of this post. I am not gonna even bother try spelling it right. For all you slow readers out there, Sagtaruissda is code Sagittarius. I don’t want to hear any of you complaining about how I spelled Sagittarius wrong. I know (and I don’t care). Anyway let's begin.

Sagtaruissda is the one sign that just come out of nowhere and do shit, and you're like what the fuck? You stop, you stare, and then you go on about your business, because no one fucking cares. SAG you are not an Aries or Leo, no one fucking cares. Sagtaruissda want attention, but they don't stay around long enough to get it.

No one takes Sagtaruissda seriously. Well except Capricorns, but they take everything too seriously. Sagtaruissda do shit, that may offend some people, but then it’s over. A great example is Miley Cyrus (who is also the Ain't Shit Celebrity Archetype Sagtaruissda). I kinda ruin the surprise but oh the fuck well.

Eventually the bitch got up. LIFEALERT

Not giving too much away, people were like what the fuck Miley 0_o?; when Miley started twerking and acting a fool. Her behavior was "shocking" and "random". The sheer randomness of it all was frightening. It threw people wayy off quickly too. And I am sure people still this day are confused. 0_o, WTF? This pretty much how the world reacts to Sagtaruissda: I stopped, I stared, and I moved the fuck on.

The Life of a Sagtaruissda

Anyway Miley lost her steam and this is the Sagtaruissda cycle. 

Phrase 1: Sagtaruissda do random unoriginal half ass shit.

Phrase 2: Then they lose their energy. 

Phrase 3: They have the nerve to either forget about it or run away. 

This is the pretty much the equivalent to someone farting and walking away. #CropDusting.

#CROPDUSTING FLASHMOB

Sagtaruissda has an annoying, desperate aura about them. They are like Chihuahua "dogs". You know those annoying small accessories for rich socialites that were once classified as dogs. But in reality they were never actually dogs, they just have 4 legs, a tail and bark. For all we know Chihuahuas are retarded cats that hung around too many dogs and decided to become one. That is the Sagtaruissda energy for you.

It is strange but Sagtaruissda is that sign that I hardly hear anyone say bad things about. Or good things for that matter. No shade but I don't think Sag actually exist. I think it is just a myth.

Stuntin’ on people like what?

You all know that bullshit theory, Ophiuchus (aka the 13th sign). Anyway the dates for this "13th sign" falls pretty during the whole Sag period. By the way the 13th sign date range is from November 29th-December 17^th, traditional Sag season is from November 22-December 22nd. Even though I don't believe in the 13th Ophiuchus sign thing, there is something interesting about it. This just goes to show you that people just don't care or talk about Sagtaruissda. Astronomers literally tried to eliminate Sagtaruissda and no one even batted an eye. Some people actually went along with it. #Sad.

Sagtaruissda is the second to last mutable sign, which pretty much means its the middle child of the zodiac mutable crew. AKA the one that no one cares for. It's not the first or the last so its just there. Being sad, and desperate, and attention-seeking. Which pretty much reads pathetic. That's why Sagtaruissda do so much crazy shit. Because they are the forgotten ones. 

The ones that no one cares about. I am sure Home Alone was a movie written by a Sagtaruissda. One thing you can't deny are Sagtaruissda are fun. Being desperate and pathetic has it's perks. They can pretty much get away with anything.

Smuggling drugs into an airport. No problem!!!. Kidnapping the President's dog. No big deal!!!. Killing a nearly extinct animal species in an African safari. A-ok!!! Stealing babies from maternity wards. Swell!! This makes for fun times and adventures.

Sagtaruissda are the ones with interesting stories that I am sure everyone will want to listen to. If you can only remember that Sagtaruissda is a contact on your phone contacts list. Gosh oh darn it!

So no matter how vulgar, offensive, ignorant, and klutzy Sagtaruissda is.  And they sure can be that way sometimes. It's all ok because no one gives a shit about them anyway.

And so this is why your "sign" (ha), Sagittarius, Ain't Shit.